The Dark Comedy / Sci-fi Horror you never asked for is here!
AND GOOD TIMES
“This story is so painful to read, we had to surgically remove our eyeballs using rusty spoons just to make it stop”(Actual reviews available at link below)
– Every major publisher
Download your free first chapter of
Richard Steele’s debut Novella, before it’s banned world wide
Following the death of his parents, who died in a cliché’ and completely unimportant way, young Joe Brown is about to find out that living in a town conveniently named Doomsville, does have its draw backs.
For reasons unknown, Joe now must face the demonic creations of a stereotypically bad villain known only as ‘The Master’, who has a penchant for pickled brains and poor puns.
Dumpsters of Doom, Toasters of Terror and the occasional Cheese Sandwich of Carnage all set out to hunt poor Joe and retrieve his brain to fulfil The Master’s destiny.
With the help of his best friend, a disturbingly gross Godmother and some random stalker he just met, Joe Brown is about to learn that what’s between his gunk ridden ears could be the key to saving the world and time itself.
Come and embark on an epic mind-bending, time-travelling quest full of confusing sub-plots, poorly constructed characters, science fiction that only a Flat Earther would believe, and every inappropriate joke you’ve ever thought of but couldn’t say out loud at your Grandmother’s funeral.
Prepare your brains-butthole for a bad case of mental diarrhea as you delve into a book so depraved and moronic, it requires you to sign a legal waiver extinguishing your rights to procreate after you’ve finished reading it.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you…
So you’ve finished the first chapter and now you want more? You’re only human…
Available in Ebook and paperback versions
*Ebook on Pre-order now*
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Still not sure? Read the reviews here you pessimist!
About the Author
Richard Steele was born premature in Vietnam circa 1966 after his mother, a long forgotten United States test pilot, was shot down during the war. Little infant Richard fought his way through kilometers of Vietcong tunnels, dragging his unconscious mother by the umbilical cord to a nearby US army base. There, he dove back into his womb of solitude and re-birthed himself some two decades later.
Legend has it that Richard spent five years in Antarctica staring intently at a blank book, writing the pages using only his mind and single handedly causing Global Warming.
Some myths say he wrote himself into existence at the beginning of time and we are all but a spawn of his majestic imagination and perverted fantasies.
Others will tell you he’s a certified idiot who once mistook his own hand for a blind date, resulting in a four year failed marriage…and two kids.
His previous works have been banned in several countries on Mental Health grounds citing, “Richard Steele’s words will lower your IQ faster than sniffing paint”.
Living in exile on a remote island in international waters surrounding Australia, Richard now relegates himself to writing children’s novels for Catholic priests in prison, a niche genre he has found is increasing in popularity.
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Maybe you just want to abuse the author…
That’s cool too